I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
