Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize