Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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