So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
