The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
