If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
