Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
