Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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