Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
