"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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