i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize