is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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