I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
