i don't like sucking hair
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Farmville is her only friend.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
