why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
