this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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