My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize