it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
