SEEEEXXX PLEASE
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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