I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
