I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
