bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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