Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
