oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize