Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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