It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
