the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
