used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
