Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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