literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
