Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
