Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My dad is sitting where you rode me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
