I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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