moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
