soooo we both peed the bed last night...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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