brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and she was petting her beer can
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Oh god it's open bar.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
