I wish i was in the wii world.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
