watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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