Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
