I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
