Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
