Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
