You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
