How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
