Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
