why do cheetos always look like penises
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
