I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
