i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
