Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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