Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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