i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
