We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
