so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
