well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
