we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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