And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
