If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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