Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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