I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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